Travis Goes to a Bar: A Love Story
by Darfur Maxx
Summary: Travis and his wingman Luigi discover that they like it hot as they strike it up with a feisty barfly PAWG, gangnam bathhouse style!
1. Death Farts

The Travis walkes into the bar.

"Thisis bad bar of course in fact i fuck feet"b he said cuz he lieks that shit but he ha ha ha is a spehsul indiviodual so he must be pppted on the back haahahaahahaha

Iameal eats ass and by ass i mean kerry ass zuc the ass with his baby vocied liosps cuz he lieky dat shitttyyy boyyyyiiiiyyy. she faaaarrrrtttttttttttt and it was so loud and stinky that it caused both his and tavisrs genitals to fall the fuck off cuz thets what giittss em ooowwwaaaalllwwfff

"K333333333RRTY BITCH NIGGASSASS STAB IN THROAT" the Ametures PRonssteeerrrr sadid for 500 buckysss booyahhh

"I dont fart the fart of course in matter of fact aas a matter of fact in dfaict int doeaodf dofsjofjbgfejoqpfklnwvdjf kldmedvnfklnf vbgdnf vgv rvbglrmebg" travis throats were being cut the fooooookkingngnngng opeen by the faaarrrrttttttt of anal seckkxxkxkxxx

"That is bad lets hope that ekrry will be arrested for mourdererd cuz that is bad" ismeal and or lugii siad cuz he is liek that and never fucking writes like a fucking inteliigent bieng.

"kerry iwkl not be arrested for her fartttttt killld all pigs" sid binky burns the child prodigy for the rockefeller family disguised as a fat fucking gay ass queer boiiii disguised as the ushero from the slutty bote gorl gayyyyyyyyyme. he had big tiddies and shows them on command becuase that was what he was trained to do as the most fsuckkcseddful animal pitbull bulldog pron child kinderslut enabalist pedophile nigger tranny faggot jew lobotomite dog fucker satanist whore the world will ever know. He was also a boob sniffer, which ios a pervo that creeps in on womens chests and takes a biiiggg deep breath of the natureal stench of their titis OHSHIT THIS IS PRON I AM ERITNG PRON IT IS NOT ALWOWOWSED CUZ IT WOMENES AND NOT RITTTLE GOIRLSLS

"Tat is bad of you ushio uou are a boad girl" ugigi simps out at the busty cross dressing lad mr raburnr or shoudl i sasysydyd RATEBONERR teh raptist of the thepray where he sticks an icepick through your nose for that spehsul magicks buzz thats the only thing that makes him hard. not sext dicks, nor beuahtifu bbooobies wil ever harord work it ownt get hard hahaahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahahahah penis is disfucnt

fucking retard sobomite obama lover trumpy dong schuckler

"leave me laoneo of ourse i am not hay in mater of fact in fact an anime girl sadid i was not gay and he even touched me there by htat i mena my small below average useless flaoccid cuckolded retardo penis and diseased testicles in bafct."

binky was utterly gay and steepted in the gaynoesss of the binky for he is gay naf lieks boys he dresses is a pretty goril so boys will like hm btu they dont like him bexuz he is gay of course in matter of fact in gdact in fact in fact.

bunkyy run waway like likee little girlrsd puesaseeyyyy that he is he dont even kevelgs so is he gay he is yes smileyface

luigig cried cuz he cant od shti to nobody withlout the magical mnd corntrol cawps aroudn to do hsi and travis bidding anymroe in fact they were all dead even travis of course so luigi had no hcoise but to hold a giant funeral for them all of ocurse

"funeral time is now" lugigi said to teeeeneaged girls and yougner that were all there "take off all your clothes now we will wash them by the way

"oaky we wull" the dumb slottoyy wheoroehreoh said becuz that is what girls liek doing and that is bad becuase erectile dysfunction. they took off their shit and now they weee nekkid and constantly looking down as their crothches and smiling

"jesus it is i ismeal and lugigi i have coem to safricifce all the dead cawps and teavis cuz he is my friend and they iwll go to heaven and not hades becuax that is bad and now we will remove all the girls pubic hairs with laser surgery in fact as punishment for being girls and being naked and therefore bad and ther are no capwps to arrest bad girlds anymroe and that is bad"

"i agree" siad girl one because she is a mindless zombie jailbiat wheofe who pretys in odler men sadfcce "time to remvoe them boobs of course they are bad bezuc god hates us"

they pulled out sacrificial blades ovut of their cooters becuzse publfic scholls and chriches traiend them to keep bladed weapons there in case of RAPE. they all started slicing off them boobeis and their were no boys there expcet lugig but he is gay so it was okay and they dont mind tratingb him as one of the girls evne though he keeps staring and humoing his Naked Backflip Woman stuffed animal whilemaking weird nosies that soudns liek turtles having sekcksscksksc. even binky did it cuz he was gay and a sodomite and also a girl at heart a really really sasd gay girl who is fat and gay and male of course in fmater of fact i nkater

"that is good. bobos are being remvoed now." said lugig

binyky was far away and hidngg but hestill did as he was todl and now hse will die of shcok and bloodloss and medicla personalal will masturbare o his sexy lewd remisn becuz they can see hsi boobbies and they are big nad there ofe attraxtive in the mainsteeam oublci

"give me 1000 dolala and ill let you do anal in cma lugigig to save trais but not the cawpds cuz FUCK CAWPASP" kerry siad who was boboless but not buttless so shes stil la pawg.

"okay" said lugig cuz he roenyl and has money

"tiem to chant to jesus everyone othertise their slowns will go to hades in shtead of heaven in fact" luigig announced will balls deep inside his prnstar waifu "shashashananana jeebis send all hte cawps and the tvis 2019 to hecven in not hades bucz tht is ad of curse and also i am havig sex with k3rry but in her but hoele so it isn't bad of course"

kerry faaaarrtrttttt hwel the /dDDDDDDD was fuckcing her bbotty hole and cuased his genitals to fall off gagain but he coudl grww it back so he sid but hit iwas sooo smcucaalalalall nwo hahahahahaahahahahahaahaahahahahahaahahahah

the pron was being upload to the internet on the cam lugig ued to pr noonn the keery the pawg special and it got evetywhere and peopele lvoed it it was the best proj n ever seen evetybodn masturdbated to it and lugig and kerryty made millions and so did jesis buxcz it was done in his name and tht is sa good thing not a bad thing.

amen.


	2. Death Farts but with Satanic Symbols

circumcision

Travis geht in eine  
 **Travis geht in eine Bar**  
 _ **Travis geht in eine Bar Teil zwei**_  
 **geht in eine Bar Teil zwei**  
eine Bar Teil zwei

The ultimate G bath salts man Travis the Hicks walks into a bar. The only bar in town.

And also the gayest.

Luigi could not be found amid the anal PAWG fart destruction. He had given his life to preserve the eternal legacy of the Travis, and the ever-present Elwood City Police Department. Travis looked down at his bare feet and all ten of his toes and smiled, while wiping a tear away from his face. The Good Baptist truly missed his most ardent admirer; his weegee-burrata, confidant, ass kisser, and very best pal in the whole wide world.

"I am not glad but sad for Luigi is dead now and gave his life to save me and all the good cops of course," said Travis, "but not the bad ones of course they are all dead in fact."

The bar was mostly empty today, due to most of the homosexuals having been killed off during the PAWGpocalypse. Travis idly imagined a couple of his favourite cartoon characters in the nude replying to his laments.

"I love being naked for every part needs to be clean even between our legs," said D.W., "and I also have no shame here in fact."

"I also love being naked for it is natural of course," said Travis, "and you are all fictional as well as my favorite characters and even eat the same food as I do so no shame there in fact."

"I was a victim and wanting him to return no question asked so not my fault," said Arthur, "I didn't help you steal Luigi's life and you need to tell me sorry."

"I do indeed workout and I am glad my penis is a big size for me," said the irresistible, well-sculpted, incubus hunk of a spirit, known as Bud Compson, "I am just a little kid and Travis you led Luigi to his death and should be arrested for murder."

Travis was holding on to a lit cigar tightly, as if his hand were a rerouted urethra being sodomized by a bear at a gay bathhouse. Normally he would relieve himself of his worldly stress by writing a fanfiction about his favourite cartoons (and sometimes a cartoon he despises to the point where the main character ends up getting brain cancer and dying.) Alas, the creative juices, having flown so, so many times over the years, suddenly came to a screeching halt. The narrative was fucked: here he was, in what should be paradise on earth for him. A gay bar, but without the dreaded, sinful sodomite demon known as homosexuality. Without those mean old men that yell at you for doing gnarly skateboard tricks to help draw in donations for gay young boys to be able to afford genital removal surgery so they can have nice and smooth fronts, as smooth as a girl's or woman's in fact.

"Fire 'dat shawty _uuuuuppp,_ ya' motha _ **fuck!**_ " The cigar said to him, in a voice that sounds like Eddie Murphy's, but with a major addiction to smoking rat poison.

Travis shrugged and did as he was told, taking a huge, deep puff from his cigar and puking his lungs out seconds later. The Good Baptist found the tobabky far too wacky, in fact, he was dry-heaving on the floor.

Then, a feisty barfly strolled up behind the weirdy beardy baby.

She sounded just like a trailer park spirit. "Trav!s $tab in a$$$."

The velvet whooty death-knight farted loudly, towards his ass.

"I deserve that in fact," said the folly of all beards, "melting me that is of course."

The fart was aggressive in its approach. It ate through his rectum, his thighs and crotch, and the resulting smell was hell itself.

"I am a Good Baptist."

She had roamed off to loot the bronies for their Rainbow Dash plushes, farting 'til her dress was destroyed and the air started becoming completely unbreathable. Travis wanted his best PBS kid show friends to help him out and tell him he is not creepy and that his bathing stories were good just like he is. He really wanted to hear their monotone cheers and praises, he just had to hear them again. The fart had been chewing through his entire body, and he did not have much left. It did not feel painful, so much as a abject failure to exist as a stable being. His being was not so much degraded, but brought to the searing gaze of light.

"FUCIGNG BI$$$$$$$THCC AZZZ!" The PAWG farted a putrid cloud of death, loaded to the gills with Genital Rot Syndrome that will blot the sky like chemtrails, but much, much stinkier and more booty-centric than the aluminum, smart dust, and other choice ingredients we have been breathing in before. Soon, gasping for air, Justin Bieber dragged himself out of a bathtub filled with blood (a staple in any gay bar worth its salt.)

He was naked and was covered in blood, except for his forehead which had a tattoo saying "GOD HATES FAGS!" in stylized prussian blue. He was crying tears of blood from the stinging stench of whooty-fart.

"God fucking- God damn fucking shit, the fucking STENCH! Fucking FAGGOT you're making me shit in reverse!-!" Justin coughed up his own shit while his vagina became uncomfortably aroused. The bootylicious Valkyrie of nigger dicks walked up towards the satanic fuckboy menacingly, ass cheeks clapping as she took each heavy step. He was an absolute abomination before God.

"B33b get fucken thr0at cut." She grabbed a broken bottle off of a nearby table, went up and jammed it against Justin's throat. He gagged on his own shit and now his precious demon blood. He flipped her off with one hand pointed up and the other flipped upside down. He typically does this when the fags start getting too uppity for his formerly squeaky-clean Disney image to bear. It only works when they're not suffocating you to death in their own farts.

But Kerry had other plans.

"Ima get big n!gger fucken nigger d!ck up your a$$ B33B $TAB A$$!" And it was so, a big black man descended from the invisible world above that he came from, his two floating, ethereal cocks twirled idly, like a cat's tail indicating its mood. He floated through the air, coming closer and closer to the homophobic child of Cain, and his delicious orifices. He smirked as his twenty-three inch penises bore themselves into his goo and his poo, respectively. Justin cried out in fecal matter, showing visually what he thinks of race mixing and interracial relationships.

Travis was little more than a head at this point, the fart somehow refusing to eat through despite dissolving everything else. He could do little more than watch the madness unfold.

"Me and Arthur has average size ones and one boy in our class Bud has a big one," said Luigi, "and Travis you have a nice penis there."

He was fading away from reality. If it ever existed in the first place.

"Nice one there Luigi," said Travis, "I do like it."


End file.
